How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

Want your mind blown? Seriously. What I’m about to describe is one of the cleverest ideas I’ve seen and it unraveled itself live, right in front of me.


I bought tickets to a fading 90s band concert for my wife and I a couple months ago on a whim thinking it’d be a fun Saturday night in the middle of August when nothing is going on. It turns out the days leading up to and following are jammed packed with things to do and places to go. We could really use this Saturday night to sit at home, do some laundry, maybe go to Home Depot, you know. But I forced us out, mostly because I already dropped the money on the tickets. We left begrudgingly to sit in traffic, fight the surprisingly large crowd for a small patch of grass and spend $10 on rental chairs. Things were looking down.

But my amazing wife, who knows how to rub two nickels together and get a quarter, knew that we could bring our own food and water into the venue. Great, we won’t drop $12 on over-cooked chicken fingers and fries.

I was reluctant and didn’t believe her that we could bring in food but like usual with her I was wrong. Security did a decent job checking the water bottles, making sure they weren’t filled vodka or another clear liquid alcohol, but were pretty lax when it came to the food. Cue awesome neighbors.

Time to get your mind blown

As we ate our packed snacks listening to the noise made by the opening act, we spot our neighbors, a couple in their 50s or early 60s with an early 20s daughter, with a full buffet – shrimp, fruit, fried chicken, you name it. And a loaf of baked bread.

How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

I’m starring off at the stage, wondering if I made the right choice by dragging us out here knowing full well we have to get up at 4:00am the next day when the tapping starts from my left. My wife is hitting my arm trying to get my attention. “Oh my god, are you watching this?” “Huh?” “The bread… look at the bread.” I look over and out pops a pouch of red liquid. Yep, the bread was hollowed out and held two pouches of wine. GENIUS.

Cue music. Continue reading

April Dirty Thirty Day 6 – Atwater Brewery Vanilla Java Porter

Atwater Brewery Vanilla Java Porter - Taken by MItch Witte

Atwater Brewery Vanilla Java Porter – Taken by Mitch Witte

Today has been a little crazy. Went out to four wineries for a friend’s birthday and am just getting to today’s review which is…

Atwater Brewery Vanilla Java Porter

Critical Information:

  • 6.0% ABV
  • Year-round

My Experience:


Poured from bottle into mug. Off-white head that lasted for a few moments. Very minimal carbonation. It is a deep brown-black color that’s completely opaque.


It has a very chocolatey with some maltiness aroma. I also get the vanilla coming through a lot too.


Wow, it’s just like the name of the beer – vanilla and java are the dominate flavors. I don’t really get much else. No hops, minimal maltiness, lots of, you know it, vanilla and coffee flavors.


It has a thick, dense texture that barely lasts more than a minute.


I’m thinking s’mores  from Cosi. This is definitely a dessert beer.


It reminds me of Butternuts Moo Thunder Stout. It has a good taste to it but it’s not very beer-y.

Score: 5/10

Sorry for keeping it so brief tonight. Lots of conflicts happening at the moment — been to multiple wineries, sitting on a friend’s computer, being bugged to hurry up, etc. Thanks for being a part of the April Dirty Thirty project. Keep the tweets and comments coming, you’re doing outstanding! Remember to use #AprilDirty30. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this beer, what you had tonight, what you’ve tried recently, anything.

Try something new. Share it with the world. Grow your palate and beer knowledge.