How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

Want your mind blown? Seriously. What I’m about to describe is one of the cleverest ideas I’ve seen and it unraveled itself live, right in front of me.


I bought tickets to a fading 90s band concert for my wife and I a couple months ago on a whim thinking it’d be a fun Saturday night in the middle of August when nothing is going on. It turns out the days leading up to and following are jammed packed with things to do and places to go. We could really use this Saturday night to sit at home, do some laundry, maybe go to Home Depot, you know. But I forced us out, mostly because I already dropped the money on the tickets. We left begrudgingly to sit in traffic, fight the surprisingly large crowd for a small patch of grass and spend $10 on rental chairs. Things were looking down.

But my amazing wife, who knows how to rub two nickels together and get a quarter, knew that we could bring our own food and water into the venue. Great, we won’t drop $12 on over-cooked chicken fingers and fries.

I was reluctant and didn’t believe her that we could bring in food but like usual with her I was wrong. Security did a decent job checking the water bottles, making sure they weren’t filled vodka or another clear liquid alcohol, but were pretty lax when it came to the food. Cue awesome neighbors.

Time to get your mind blown

As we ate our packed snacks listening to the noise made by the opening act, we spot our neighbors, a couple in their 50s or early 60s with an early 20s daughter, with a full buffet – shrimp, fruit, fried chicken, you name it. And a loaf of baked bread.

How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

I’m starring off at the stage, wondering if I made the right choice by dragging us out here knowing full well we have to get up at 4:00am the next day when the tapping starts from my left. My wife is hitting my arm trying to get my attention. “Oh my god, are you watching this?” “Huh?” “The bread… look at the bread.” I look over and out pops a pouch of red liquid. Yep, the bread was hollowed out and held two pouches of wine. GENIUS.

Cue music.


The band started their performance and it ended up being 10x better than I ever thought it would be. They sounded just like they did in their prime years in the 90s. Happy wife = happy husband. And on top of that the neighbors were so cool that they offered us and other neighbors wine. The two pouches held the equivalent of a bottle of wine. It was a $10 bottle of wine and the venue was charging $10 per small plastic cup. They saved at least $40. I asked the man about it and he said he was 2 for 2 smuggling it in. He said the security never searches the food and why would they? What would you say if they asked you to open your bread??

So what do you think? What’s the best trick for smuggling alcohol into a concert that you’ve seen or done?

2 thoughts on “How to Smuggle Alcohol into a Concert

  1. Pingback: A Call for Innovation — Beer vs. Wine | Short On Beer

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